


Love Like You

by AnarchyandArmistice



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Beds, Blood and Injury, Crying, Ew, Feeling unworthy, Feelings, Gross Remus thoughts, He doesn't like em either, I hurt Remus for your entertainment, Idea Overload, M/M, Remus Sanders Needs a Hug, Remus and Dee are in Loooooooooove, Self-Hatred, Singing, Steven Universe lyrics, Thought of Blood and injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 04:24:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20754299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnarchyandArmistice/pseuds/AnarchyandArmistice
Summary: Remus is everything wrong about Thomas.He shouldn't care.So why do his racing thoughts make him sick?





	Love Like You

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in the car and I am sick so I apologize if it doesn't make sense.
> 
> Also my eyes are itchy, like, half-asleep itchy. Whoooo!

Remus lays on his bed, curled tightly around his morning star. If he scooted up, he could rest his head on the pillow.

He doesn't. 

_The pillow is full of feathers those feathers had to come from somewhere did the birds scream when they were plucked can birds scream how long would it take to lose your voice screaming would you cough up blood can you paint a picture with blood where do you bleed hardest the carotid cut your carotid–_

Remus flinches, bringing his morning star closer to himself. 

He doesn't hate who he is. Remus thinks there's a kind of beauty in the disgustingness of himself. He likes testing his body, mostly.

But sometimes he can't make it _stop. _He can't rest. He can't breathe, because his mind is racing a thousand miles a minute like a Japanese bullet train grinding off the rails and headed toward a factory full of citizens who all die on impact or in the fire that follows–

Remus' throat is making a noise it doesn't make often. It's called a whimper, he thinks. Roman does them when he's talking about how hopeless he is for Logan and Patton and Virgil.

The door to his room creaks open, and in walks Dorian. His hat is pulled off, in one hand, and his tiny Ringneck, Monty, peeks out from the rim. He doesn't say anything about Remus' position, just goes about getting dressed for bed.

Remus almost chokes on his own bile. 

How did he do this? How _could _he do this to Dorian? 

Dorian, who fights tooth and nail and lashing tongue for any piece of Thomas' preservation. Dorian, who somehow keeps himself sane even though out of all the sides, he's the only one Thomas thought of as forbidden enough to give snake characteristics. Dorian, who still finds the time and willpower to give Remus frankly disgusting manicures out of all the love in his heart.

Dorian loves him. 

How the hell does Dorian _love _him?

Blood rushes in Remus' ears, the Japanese bullet train picking up speed, it's going off the rails, he wouldn't be able to hear it if he ripped off his ears, he can't rip off his ears, Dorian would see, he can't he can't can't can't–

The bed dips as Dorian slides in, resting his side on their pillows. He's so close, in his soft, stretchy cotton pajamas. Remus could lean up and–

Before Remus can finish whatever thought that was going to be, he launches face-first into Dorian's stomach.

Saltwater wets the fabric and Remus recognizes the hot tracks down his face as tears. 

He can't get Dorian's snake pajamas wet, they're his favorites. Remus tries to pull back, but an ungloved hand on the crown of his head stops him.

The hand is gentle.

It's the same gentle hand that offers Remus comically small handkerchiefs when he's found in a pool of blood that may or may not be his, cackling.

It's the same gentle hand that holds him when his dearest brother's clumsily extended olive branches turn into stinging nettles that burn for weeks afterward.

It's the same gentle hand Remus has somehow trapped in his for a supposed forever he cannot for the life of him believe in.

More iron-hot tear tracks stain his cheeks.

Before shudders can wrack Remus' body and his loud, shrieking sobs fill the air, Dorian croons to him, the hand in his hair stroking so gently.

"If I could begin to be," Dor murmurs. His voice is not as clear as Roman's, not as gravelly as Virgil's, not as precise as Logan's. But it has a smoothness only his voice has, and that is why his singing is Remus' favorite.

"Half of what you think of me, I could do about anything. I could even learn how to love."

"When I see the way you act, wondering when I'm coming back," Dorian leans back a bit, shooting Remus a knowing look. Remus blushes at his boyfriend's understanding of him. "I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love, like you."

The hand in his hair moves slowly and kindly, pulling more tears from his eyes.

Remus, through his hiccups, sings clumsily along, voice crackling all the while. "I always thought I might be bad, now I'm sure that it's true, 'cause I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you."

Dorian moves aside the Morningstar to hold Remus tightly with all six of his arms. "Look at you go," he breathes in Remus' ear. "I just adore you," Remus is fairly sure he won't ever stop crying after this, "I wish that I knew."

Remus closes his eyes, managing to croak out the last lines. "What makes you think I'm so special."

Neither of them say 'I love you.' 

They don't need to.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo... I would like to run a small poll. If I were to do a Dukeceit Lilo and Stitch au, which I most definitely do not already have concept art for, would anyone read it?
> 
> It has been a pleasure to hurt Remus.


End file.
